Moonshine & Wanderlust

... a cosmopolitan view from a southern perspective

Bruises

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I’m a bruiser. It doesn’t take much to leave a nice smattering of deep purple and green on my body. I think I have about eight right now. They’re slowly fading, but I know I acquired some new ones on my hike this past weekend.

Sometimes bruises can be hidden, but more often than not they’re going to be loud and proud. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to go away… they’re a constant reminder of pain. A reminder of struggle. They’re ugly. They’re flawed. They make a feel a little less beautiful or handsome.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about this “year of transition” we are both experiencing. Growing and becoming a better person is non-stop. The days I start to feel a little “comfortable” with where I am is when I actually feel the worst. I start thinking about the past, I get frustrated, I feel defeated, I feel like I’m not doing enough, I become restless, my anxiety goes into high drive… on and on and on. Since I am all about honesty with the topics I choose to share with my readers, it’s no lie when I say those days are really hard. I can easily become consumed with having an enormous and successful pity party for one.

Those days are the ones where I have to remember to shift. I have to regroup. I have to be willing to be bruised. Over and over again. To make myself tougher. To not settle for being mediocre. To never become complacent. The only person we’re in competition with is ourselves and if you are lying around doing the same thing day in and day out you are not going to change. God is not going to swoop down and shine some shining light on you and *voila* you are a different person. God gave us free will. No one is going to do it for you. Remember: if you’re not happy with yourself no one else will be either.

Change is slow. Good change, anyway. We’re all familiar with quick changes. They’re often short, aren’t they? They’re easy and fleeting. Good changes are the difficult ones. The ones that take months or years to culminate into something tangible. And, some are never finished. The internal growth of ourselves has to be constant because as I said above – as soon as you are in a good place… you’re going to find yourself falling. The moment you think everything is “great” is the moment the rug gets pulled out from under you.

My newfound love of hiking is probably the cause of most of my most recent bruises but it has shown me things about myself I never thought possible. Everyone has different reasons for being out in nature be it love of beauty, exercise or adventure.

I enjoy hiking for all of those reasons but being me I had to look for that deeper meaning to really correlate with my life. It’s a lot of patience with a little pain. I’ve always struggled with being impatient. I want to fix a situation now. I want my prayer answered now. You know what the problem with that is a lot of the times? I. It is a constant journey of surrender and learning. I can’t fix everything. I can’t make all the wrongs right. I can’t control most of the situations that I want to, but I can control myself and my own progress.

Hiking has taught me to be patient. I can’t rush my way to the top or bottom. I can’t skimp to get there faster. I have to take it step by step. I have to look for the grooves in the rock to grasp with my hands and the places to stick my feet to pull me up. If I’m not patient I could slip and hurt myself or worse. It has taught me I have to slow down. I have to survey my progress and make the next intentional step. I have to remember I am making the progress as long as I keep going. I am becoming stronger.

One of my friends asked me yesterday, “What keeps you motivated?” That’s such a loaded question. A lot of things keep me motivated. But, the one thing I have to say is the constant is what I said above – the only person I’m in competition with is myself. I do it for the satisfaction I get when I look in the mirror. I do it for remembering where I was just four weeks ago and where I am now. I do it knowing at 30 years old I’m on my way to the best shape I’ve ever been in. I know where I’m going. And, it’s not just the physical. The physical is easy compared to the internal workouts I’ve been doing. They’re the workouts that go on 24/7. They’re the ones that really hurt. They’re the ones that matter because those are the ones that affect everyone else around me. I’m motivated to be my very best.

One of my favorite songs to listen to when I workout is Justin Timberlake’s “TKO”…

Baby, everyday in training to get the gold That’s why your body’s crazy But you can’t run from yourself, that’s where it’s difficult

Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. The training never stops. Stop running from your weaknesses. Face them head on and knock them out.

Bruises remind you that you’re moving. They remind you that you are human and vulnerable but you are not breakable.

My First Time: Blood Assurance

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I have a friend – E – you may remember her little introduction in “Rooting”. E is from New Mexico and we first become friends during our college years. She moved away after college but came back to TN soon after (no one can stay away too long). We’ve grown closer since working together and her friendship has blessed me immensely.

She’s shown up at my house with a homemade German chocolate cake after a breakup, assuring me she would help me pick up the pieces. She’s taken me to church. She’s given me tissues since I’m the #1 Crier at work but never have any. She’s the motivator when I’m whining about running. She’s my 5:30am cycling buddy. She’s one of those people who gives of herself to everyone she comes in contact with. She’s always giving little gifts (usually homemade), snacks, and tokens of encouragement. She’s one of those people we all want to be, need to have as friends, and is really a true example in many ways of Christ’s love.

Now – as perfect as she is, she has the gift of what I have deemed “badgering”. Of course, it’s all for good purposes and I mean that with a vast amount of love… I have joked with her the only reason God put her in my life was to teach me to say “No!” But, on a serious note… She has peste-, ahem, diligently tried to persuade me to donate blood for at least a year. She’s a regular giver, of course. Here are some of her pleas I have endured over the past year:

“One donation saves 3 lives!”

“Your blood replenishes itself in 24 hours! You’ll be okay!”

“You’ll be saving lives”

“You can save the lives of little babies!”

She always knows where to hit below the belt. Pulling the baby card. I’m not really sure why I have never donated. I think it’s part fear of not really knowing what to expect and part sitting so long with a needle buried in my arm. I told her this was my parting gift to her since she is leaving me to move back across the other side of the country.

Now, there are many reasons to donate blood and no, I am not talking about the free Twinkies you get to throw down when you’re finished. Although food is always a good incentive to get me to do something. More about that later.

What to Expect:

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience. Yours may be a little different.

♥ Apparently, some people expect to get paid for donating blood, but at Blood Assurance they do not pay you.

♥ You’ll read a sheet of information telling you who is and is not eligible to donate. It also tells you what to expect on your visit and how to take care of yourself before and after.

♥ You’ll have to answer several questions about your health history (mine was on a computer which was reviewed by the technician after I was finished).

♥ A finger stick will test your iron levels

♥ They will take your temperature and check your blood pressure (I always joke I’m borderline dead already because my blood pressure is so low which never ceases to amaze me!)

♥ They’ll get you nice and comfy in a reclining chair and check your veins. If you have an arm you prefer, they will take your donation from that arm. I didn’t care. My exact words were: “Pick whichever one is the most juicy.” The technician checked both and once she settled on the arm she was going to use, we got started.

♥ Cleaning the area. I’m not going to lie. I was really scared. It was at this point I may have started to get a little sweaty. They gave me an ice pack to put on the back of my neck to keep my body temperature from going crazy.

♥ the BIG moment

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#baby

♥ They take several vials to send off for testing to make sure your blood is good to donate. I was told they test for around 23 different types of diseases.

♥ The whole actual process of giving only took about 10-15 minutes. They gave me a little ball to squeeze to keep the blood flowing.

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Giving is better together.

♥ For me (again, this is my experience so someone else’s is going to be a little different) the worst part was getting the needle pulled out of my arm. That actually hurt worse than anything but I’m told that’s not really “normal” so hopefully next time will be better!

♥ They had me sit for a few minutes afterwards to make sure I was feeling good.

♥ Get your snack on, baby!

♥ They tell you to make sure you eat a good meal and no heavy lifting/strenuous activity for 24 hours. Of course, I didn’t listen to either of these instructions and got an extremely bad headache for the rest of the day and was really tired. So – listen to what they tell you. Eat some food and rest.

 I’m really glad I donated. It made me feel like I did something completely pure and good for someone else – or a few others! I’m available to give again in May and I definitely am planning on make the trip back. Maybe I’ll take on the mantle of getting another newbie to convert.

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

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Mission Complete!

 Helpful links:

Info About Whole Blood Donation

Where to Donate

Why You Should Donate

Pour

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In a recent yoga session, our instructor read this beautiful quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

If you read, “Rooting”, you know it was about renewal branching out, revisiting your roots. It was about growth and about being a better you. If you are going through a period of transition or you are trying to do some internal adjusting you have to remember that the rain is going to come. But, don’t let it drown you.

When you are on the right path you hope it’s always going to be this amazing. Every day seems bright and blue. You have gotten really good at reminding yourself of your purpose. Whatever you have been doing has been working. You are seeing results – whether they are physical, emotional, or mental.

I see this a lot from people I know that are hard core into fitness. The good ones are honest about the plateaus and the frustration of the days that aren’t so good or the days that seem like total failures. And, when you are doing anything that is supposed to be bettering you these days are inevitable. And, they can be crushing. But, what do these people do? They keep going. And, they see the results.

You’ll be having a great day. You’ll seemingly be on a high. Things are going awesome. And, then… the bottom falls out. Maybe you know what triggered it. Maybe you don’t. You just feel the caving in coming and the next thing you know you are crying in yoga class while struggling to do the humble warrior pose.

There will be nights you’re alone and trying to get your legs through the right holes in your underwear will be a struggle. You’ll crash into the wall because you’re simultaneously trying to dress yourself and turn on the front porch light.

You’ll be tempted to go to bed at 8pm watching Teen Witch on Netflix.

You’ll be tempted to order Chinese food in all of its MSG glory and eat a side of pizza with extra cheese. And, hey, who doesn’t love a container of frosting for dessert?

You’ll be tempted to go back to some place that is comfortable but you know is detrimental to your journey. It could be an actual place, it could be a person, or it could be a bad habit you’ve broken. But, it’s comfortable.

Growth is not comfortable. Ask any kid going through puberty. Being better at anything is rarely easy and comfortable.

This month in yoga we are doing heart opening positions and flows and working our way up to the wheel pose. Of course there are some people in the class who have no problem doing the wheel – I am not one of them. I may be pretty flexible and have some good lower body strength, but my upper body strength is peanuts. It’s a work in progress.

For those of us trying to accomplish a successful wheel by the end of the month use foam blocks to help get us to where we need to be. I have managed to get up off the ground, but haven’t been successful in getting my head up off the ground, too. Growth. My arms shake and hurt and I get frustrated, but I don’t give up.

Don’t Give Up.

Keep going. Let the rain come. Look up to the sky and let it pour. Let the rain remind you that you are in a continual stage of growth. There will be days of rain. But, there will be many more days of sunshine. Don’t peddle back now – you have come so far.

That extra cheesy, stuffed crust pizza may feel really good when you’re eating it, but chances are you’re either going to feel guilty about it later or you’re going to be sick. Don’t even get me started on the frosting.

Hanging out with that friend who believes making you feel better equals taking you out to a bar and getting drunk is not looking at your long term growth and success.

Remember the reason you have quit a bad habit. Remember how you felt when you did it and remember why you stopped doing it. Don’t let one bad day ruin your progress.

Go for that run. Go to the gym. Text that friend who will give you a scripture verse or an encouraging word. Heck, watch some Netflix. Call an old friend and catch up. Often times, talking to someone else and hearing about their triumphs and struggles allows us to be the encourager and reminds us that we truly all are in this together.

Our struggles are different but we all need encouragement and support.

Throwing off the Bowlines

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  I recently mentioned in my post “Rooting” the importance of growing outside your comfort zone and doing new things or things you may have done before or not done for awhile. The importance of branching out.  For me, part of that has involved hiking.

You know what’s even better than spreading your wings a little bit? Surprising people. While you may not look at me and say, “oh yeah – that girl… she likes to hike!”, you should know if I am going to do something I am going to do it and do it well. I’m going to give it my all. Someone once told me I’m the type to “go big or go home.” So, when I start trying to get a group of people who have been hiking a lot more than me to crawl over some boulders with bolted in cables to get to an overhang 2,000 feet above the ground I know I’m doing something right.

The title of this post comes from my favorite quote of all time. I have it posted up at my house, I have quoted it in speeches… it’s the reminder some of us constantly need.

   “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you   didn’t do than by the ones you did do. 

So throw off the bowlines. 

Sail away from the safe harbor. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. 

Dream. 

Discover.” – Mark Twain

Starr Mountain

My first visit to Starr Mountain was more than 5 years ago and truly deserves its own story so I won’t go into it at this present time. Five years and a lot of life later, I was ready to go back and have a fresh start. And, get my feet wet for some more hiking adventures!

The afternoon my friends and I went was absolutely perfect. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze and no humidity (praise the Saints).

It had been a long time, but my body quickly remembered why my first experience had been so, ahem, memorable. But, this time was different. Sometimes all you need is a little space, a fresh perspective, and a new attitude to try something again and maybe this time around… it just seems right.

One of the people in our group brought their dog (Grace Kelly would have walked herself off a cliff so I didn’t bring her) so that was even more fun to watch her scamper along and splash around in the water that led up to the mountain. Dogs and children – they appreciate the simple things we as adults who are so consumed in the outcomes we miss the small pleasures on the life climb.

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Always with a camera in my hand

If you get the chance to visit our beautiful area you should get some first hand acquaintance with this spot. I really believe I live in the most beautiful state in America. I love my home. That’s the cool thing about traveling – it makes you appreciate your roots even more than before. Okay… rabbit trail. Back to the hike.

I set off to find this overhang I had visited on my first hiking trip to the mountain, but it was evident I wasn’t going to be able to find the way. The path is hidden and since it’s been such a long time and the person who led before wasn’t with us, I had to finally relent and admit I couldn’t find it. Much to the appreciation of a couple people in our group, I’m sure. Next time!!

There are so many places to stop and look out over the water and the mountain and be in absolute awe of nature and God’s creation. Untouched. Unmarred. Raw beauty. Of course, all those places to stand in awe are also good spots for photo ops… Especially when you get near to the top and you feel so insignificant.

I recently heard a song by Chris August called “The Maker” – check it out here. It sums up everything I felt on this particular day.

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Exhilaration.

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There is this unexplainable feeling when you’re outside in the middle of nature – a feeling of complete freeness. It puts life in perspective. It’s serene. It’s humbling.

We hiked up further to the top and found a good place to sit on the edge and relax. This is what life should be. It was easy. And, I don’t mean in the way that life should be “easy”, but oh how we complicate it so. We’re always in a hurry, always trying to be ahead…

  There was nowhere to be. No rush. No hurry. Just time. And, sunshine. And, friends. And, lots of laughter.

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard

 

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Me & my friend E who is moving back out West next month. Incredibly thankful for her friendship!

We headed back down (thank God for the extra padding on my backside because there was some definite slippage) and decided to pull off on the side of the road where there was a sandy area on the water.

I love it when you’re with a group of people and someone suggests something that wasn’t necessarily part of the plan and everyone is game.

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The whole gang – party of 5!

There was an older man sitting across the river from us on a rock, fishing. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Was this his therapy? To be out in the quiet – the rushing water easing his worries?

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Our four legged hiking buddy, Kiara

So… if you’re thinking about doing something a little out of your comfort zone, do it! If you keep doing the same thing, you will always be the same. Your results will always be the same. Do something different. Who knows, you may find a new love! As for me… I’ve already planned another longer hiking excursion coming up soon.

Until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

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Rooting

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Spring is officially here!

Ya’ll – life is good! We are so lucky to be given a new day each morning to make it awesome! I can’t wait to share some of the exciting things that have been going on recently.

Sometimes we have to do a little spring cleaning inside of ourselves. We clean the house, we clean the car, we prep for summer… often times we leave our self neglected. We become stale and stagnant and maybe even unpleasant to be around. Sometimes you have to root yourself in what you know, who you are, and stretch your branches.

Below are some ways I decided to spring clean myself and maybe they’ll be helpful to you, too.

Take a Break: I cut all ties with my social media accounts (even taking a break from M&W, publicly at least – I won’t tell you how many drafts I have sitting around on WordPress), which was a lot easier than I thought. I even considered not coming back at all. It’s been like throwing open a window and breathing this huge breath of air. I have felt more grounded and more like I am living my life than showing it or letting someone else’s “perfect snippets” of their life makes me feel about mine. I will definitely be doing social media a little different this time around.

If you’re bored and/or interested in reading more about how SM affects us I highly encourage two reads: Social Media Makes You Unhappy. Here’s What You Can Do About It. & 7 Things You Learn About (Real) Connection From Being Off the Grid for a Week.

Birds of a Feather: I’ve had the opportunity to really spend time with people that I’m close to and also spend some time with friends who have moved away. Our friends are the family we get to choose. One of my best friends, E, who has really blessed my life in more ways than I could ever explain is moving back out West at the beginning of May. These past few weeks have really given me an opportunity to spend quality time with her and even give in to some of her (good) peer pressure like donating blood for the first time (that story coming soon!)

My friend, Coco, who I call my “true blue” friend just bought her first home with her future husband and I was lucky enough to get to help them move in. It’s such an exciting time in life for so many people in my life… so happy for them!

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Full car & off to the new place!

 

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New Memories. Old Friends.

Get Up & Get Out: My body and I are starting to be really good friends again. We are talking 5:30am booty calls (it’s a workout term – get your mind out of the gutter), running in the evenings, biking, strength training, hiking (!! Anyone reading this who knows me knows this is major – can’t wait to share!), yoga for days… you get the picture. Over the past several weeks, I can count the days I “took off” on one hand. I took way too much time away from my body and my mental health by quitting the very things that help keep my whole being aligned. Not only are the physical benefits that I’m reaping pretty awesome, the way I feel after a hard run or a yoga session or a 2 hour solo bike ride is priceless. I won’t ever give that up again. Know what makes you a better you and don’t stop.

I know my go-tos to not only get my body in shape but to keep me mentally healthy, but this Spring is bringing some new activities. Of course I’ve mentioned hiking, but I also tried out a dance class with a friend recently.

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This was so much fun! It’s a great activities for a group of friends to go to or of course a date, but you switch partners throughout the night so don’t let thinking you have to bring a “date” stop you from going. RCDC meets weekly and it’s specifically for people who enjoy dancing but don’t necessarily want to go to a “club”. I believe the group has a page on Facebook – definitely check them out!

Intentional Living: Recently one night after yoga, I was bouncing out of the gym to my car and I took my sunglasses off and there was this magnificent sunset gracing the sky. A smattering of orange and blue and purple and pink – it wasn’t perfect or the most beautiful, but it was lovely. I rolled all the windows down in the car and took a little drive with the music blaring – it’s moments like that that I feel 100% alive and free. In yoga, we learn to set an intention before the beginning of the class. Maybe it’s to relax or to focus on something we are good at or something we want to accomplish the next day. Yoga is not without purpose. Such is life. Everyday, we can set an intention and strive to fulfill it. Maybe it’s to smile more. To bring some flowers to a friend who is going through a rough patch. Cleaning the car. Raking the leaves in the yard. They don’t have to be big. We put too much pressure on ourselves at times while we should be more intentional with our living instead of cramming as much junk into one day as we can.

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Front porch swinging devotions

 

Detox: I’m not necessarily talking about drinking kale and lemon juice for a few days although I hear that works pretty well. While I did do some body detoxing by cutting sugar, bread and general “crap” out of most of my diet and absolutely nothing but water, detoxing comes in other forms.

Detox the negative feelings that want to feed off of whatever you’re going through. Yes, ladies, I am talking to you – put down that glass of wine you’re drinking in the bathtub while crying over Pinterest quotes as Sam Smith plays in the background. You are on a slippery slope to becoming a seriously unproductive byproduct of society. Just say no. Seriously. Pull yourself together.

It’s good to feel your feelings, as they say, and I do plenty of it but at some point you have to stop catering to your feelings. Life is moving on without you. That’s why it’s imperative you take time for yourself when you need it and you rest in your situations and then move on. You learn your lesson and you turn yourself outward. Do something for someone else.

Tune out the people who continually want to complain instead of looking at the positive (we all know these people) – sometimes that means either completely cutting off a friendship or relationship or just taking a step back. Change your circumstances. Change yourself. Make yourself better. We can all stay pretty awesome being the same, but the truth is we’re all one day closer to dying and I’m not really satisfied doing the same things when I know I can be better – not just for myself but for those around me.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: They may be small acts, but really think about pushing yourself a little bit this year. Try something new. Don’t be one of those people who says, “I will never…” at the drop of a hat at the mention of an adventure. It took me a long time to get saying, “No” down, but this year I’m going to say “Yes” just a little more. Life is so full… Take advantage of it! I can’t wait to share some of the things I’ve been doing the past few weeks.

Choose to be happy. Choose to live intentionally. Choose to be someone other people want to be around because you’re a light in the midst of something dark they’re going through. Choose to not drag yourself down by comparing yourself to others. Choose to be the best version of yourself you can.

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

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