Moonshine & Wanderlust

... a cosmopolitan view from a southern perspective

Bruises

by 2 Comments

I’m a bruiser. It doesn’t take much to leave a nice smattering of deep purple and green on my body. I think I have about eight right now. They’re slowly fading, but I know I acquired some new ones on my hike this past weekend.

Sometimes bruises can be hidden, but more often than not they’re going to be loud and proud. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to go away… they’re a constant reminder of pain. A reminder of struggle. They’re ugly. They’re flawed. They make a feel a little less beautiful or handsome.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about this “year of transition” we are both experiencing. Growing and becoming a better person is non-stop. The days I start to feel a little “comfortable” with where I am is when I actually feel the worst. I start thinking about the past, I get frustrated, I feel defeated, I feel like I’m not doing enough, I become restless, my anxiety goes into high drive… on and on and on. Since I am all about honesty with the topics I choose to share with my readers, it’s no lie when I say those days are really hard. I can easily become consumed with having an enormous and successful pity party for one.

Those days are the ones where I have to remember to shift. I have to regroup. I have to be willing to be bruised. Over and over again. To make myself tougher. To not settle for being mediocre. To never become complacent. The only person we’re in competition with is ourselves and if you are lying around doing the same thing day in and day out you are not going to change. God is not going to swoop down and shine some shining light on you and *voila* you are a different person. God gave us free will. No one is going to do it for you. Remember: if you’re not happy with yourself no one else will be either.

Change is slow. Good change, anyway. We’re all familiar with quick changes. They’re often short, aren’t they? They’re easy and fleeting. Good changes are the difficult ones. The ones that take months or years to culminate into something tangible. And, some are never finished. The internal growth of ourselves has to be constant because as I said above – as soon as you are in a good place… you’re going to find yourself falling. The moment you think everything is “great” is the moment the rug gets pulled out from under you.

My newfound love of hiking is probably the cause of most of my most recent bruises but it has shown me things about myself I never thought possible. Everyone has different reasons for being out in nature be it love of beauty, exercise or adventure.

I enjoy hiking for all of those reasons but being me I had to look for that deeper meaning to really correlate with my life. It’s a lot of patience with a little pain. I’ve always struggled with being impatient. I want to fix a situation now. I want my prayer answered now. You know what the problem with that is a lot of the times? I. It is a constant journey of surrender and learning. I can’t fix everything. I can’t make all the wrongs right. I can’t control most of the situations that I want to, but I can control myself and my own progress.

Hiking has taught me to be patient. I can’t rush my way to the top or bottom. I can’t skimp to get there faster. I have to take it step by step. I have to look for the grooves in the rock to grasp with my hands and the places to stick my feet to pull me up. If I’m not patient I could slip and hurt myself or worse. It has taught me I have to slow down. I have to survey my progress and make the next intentional step. I have to remember I am making the progress as long as I keep going. I am becoming stronger.

One of my friends asked me yesterday, “What keeps you motivated?” That’s such a loaded question. A lot of things keep me motivated. But, the one thing I have to say is the constant is what I said above – the only person I’m in competition with is myself. I do it for the satisfaction I get when I look in the mirror. I do it for remembering where I was just four weeks ago and where I am now. I do it knowing at 30 years old I’m on my way to the best shape I’ve ever been in. I know where I’m going. And, it’s not just the physical. The physical is easy compared to the internal workouts I’ve been doing. They’re the workouts that go on 24/7. They’re the ones that really hurt. They’re the ones that matter because those are the ones that affect everyone else around me. I’m motivated to be my very best.

One of my favorite songs to listen to when I workout is Justin Timberlake’s “TKO”…

Baby, everyday in training to get the gold That’s why your body’s crazy But you can’t run from yourself, that’s where it’s difficult

Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. The training never stops. Stop running from your weaknesses. Face them head on and knock them out.

Bruises remind you that you’re moving. They remind you that you are human and vulnerable but you are not breakable.

Pour

by 2 Comments

In a recent yoga session, our instructor read this beautiful quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

If you read, “Rooting”, you know it was about renewal branching out, revisiting your roots. It was about growth and about being a better you. If you are going through a period of transition or you are trying to do some internal adjusting you have to remember that the rain is going to come. But, don’t let it drown you.

When you are on the right path you hope it’s always going to be this amazing. Every day seems bright and blue. You have gotten really good at reminding yourself of your purpose. Whatever you have been doing has been working. You are seeing results – whether they are physical, emotional, or mental.

I see this a lot from people I know that are hard core into fitness. The good ones are honest about the plateaus and the frustration of the days that aren’t so good or the days that seem like total failures. And, when you are doing anything that is supposed to be bettering you these days are inevitable. And, they can be crushing. But, what do these people do? They keep going. And, they see the results.

You’ll be having a great day. You’ll seemingly be on a high. Things are going awesome. And, then… the bottom falls out. Maybe you know what triggered it. Maybe you don’t. You just feel the caving in coming and the next thing you know you are crying in yoga class while struggling to do the humble warrior pose.

There will be nights you’re alone and trying to get your legs through the right holes in your underwear will be a struggle. You’ll crash into the wall because you’re simultaneously trying to dress yourself and turn on the front porch light.

You’ll be tempted to go to bed at 8pm watching Teen Witch on Netflix.

You’ll be tempted to order Chinese food in all of its MSG glory and eat a side of pizza with extra cheese. And, hey, who doesn’t love a container of frosting for dessert?

You’ll be tempted to go back to some place that is comfortable but you know is detrimental to your journey. It could be an actual place, it could be a person, or it could be a bad habit you’ve broken. But, it’s comfortable.

Growth is not comfortable. Ask any kid going through puberty. Being better at anything is rarely easy and comfortable.

This month in yoga we are doing heart opening positions and flows and working our way up to the wheel pose. Of course there are some people in the class who have no problem doing the wheel – I am not one of them. I may be pretty flexible and have some good lower body strength, but my upper body strength is peanuts. It’s a work in progress.

For those of us trying to accomplish a successful wheel by the end of the month use foam blocks to help get us to where we need to be. I have managed to get up off the ground, but haven’t been successful in getting my head up off the ground, too. Growth. My arms shake and hurt and I get frustrated, but I don’t give up.

Don’t Give Up.

Keep going. Let the rain come. Look up to the sky and let it pour. Let the rain remind you that you are in a continual stage of growth. There will be days of rain. But, there will be many more days of sunshine. Don’t peddle back now – you have come so far.

That extra cheesy, stuffed crust pizza may feel really good when you’re eating it, but chances are you’re either going to feel guilty about it later or you’re going to be sick. Don’t even get me started on the frosting.

Hanging out with that friend who believes making you feel better equals taking you out to a bar and getting drunk is not looking at your long term growth and success.

Remember the reason you have quit a bad habit. Remember how you felt when you did it and remember why you stopped doing it. Don’t let one bad day ruin your progress.

Go for that run. Go to the gym. Text that friend who will give you a scripture verse or an encouraging word. Heck, watch some Netflix. Call an old friend and catch up. Often times, talking to someone else and hearing about their triumphs and struggles allows us to be the encourager and reminds us that we truly all are in this together.

Our struggles are different but we all need encouragement and support.