Moonshine & Wanderlust

... a cosmopolitan view from a southern perspective

For the Good Days…

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Several of my recent posts have been about goals and persevering and not letting the challenges get you down… but, what about on the good days? The days where everything is really really good and that’s it? No fallout, no frustration… Those days are amazing, aren’t they? They make you feel like you can do absolutely anything. You’re on a natural high.

I’m going to be a bubble buster… be careful of these days. Especially if you are still working towards goals. Temper them with a clear head. Remember your journey. Remember your goals. Remember where you are going and what made you start out to begin with.

These days can mean a hundred things for different people – like going and stuffing your face full of pasta because you’re feeling really good about your physical progress or whatever it is you are working towards. I’m not saying don’t do it I’m just reminding you to be careful. I know those days too well. Your boyfriend is at the gym for two hours and you’re sitting at home like…

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OMG MY LIFE IS SO GREAT

(Don’t be that person. You’re gonna regret it later, I promise.)

Remember me talking about trying to master the wheel pose this month? Oh gosh… last night at yoga was so amazing. I really need to either recruit someone to get this excited with me or I need to find some more yogi friends. I DID IT! It was for like three seconds but I did it. And, you know what? I wasn’t struggling because of my pitiful upper body strength, I was struggling because of my back. It felt like I got lit on fire but I know I can do it and know what I need to adjust.

What I thought was stopping me wasn’t stopping me at all. So, I’ve learned. I’m adjusting and tweaking and repositioning myself. To be better. To push myself.

I could have stayed at home and not gone to yoga. I could have gone out to dinner. Or a movie. Or laid at home and Netflixed. But, I didn’t. I went outside and moved my body for 3.5 miles and then took my happy self to yoga. Because, that’s what progress is about. It’s about the hard days and the plateaus but it’s really about the GOOD DAYS when it’s tempting to skip a day. Or, to stop. Or, to be complacent.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” – Michelangelo Buonarroti     

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall… Who Strives to be the Best After All?

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I’ve signed up for personal training recently. I’m like anyone else – I don’t like to admit when I’m not good at something. I used to get frustrated and want to give up. Remember the post about facing your weaknesses and knocking them out? I’m fighting them with both hands up and learning to be quick on my feet. I used to joke with people, especially those who tried to get close to me, that I had “problems” – in all honesty this was just a big, fat cop out and me trying to protect myself. It was an excuse not to kick my own ass and get in gear. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I know there are areas I need help in that I can’t do on my own. I need help. So, I’m getting it.

Along with becoming better you have to be willing to take criticism. No one likes to be told they’re anything but wonderful. But, we’re not always wonderful. We’re not perfect. I don’t ever want someone to think I’m perfect… because, newsflash: I HAVE FLAWS. We all do. I’d rather have the beautiful and slightly flawed diamond than the impossibly perfect diamond that holds no character. One of my friends told me recently I seem to always have it together. I don’t always have it together. I struggle daily with a myriad of things but I am choosing to overcome. I am choosing to be the best Patty Lauren I can be and that means telling life to come at me and see who walks out of the fire still standing. I refuse to do anything but keep going and go hard. Swallow the hard lessons and learn from the mistakes.

So what does personal training have to do with any of that? Well, I’m going to my personal consultation this week but I have been attending the owner’s class and she mentioned a few things to me at the end of one of our classes.

Form? Needs help.

Upper body? Needs help. (Yeah, no new news there. I hope I don’t slip on a hike anytime soon and have to pull myself up because I’m good as dead).

The natural inclination is to hear:

“#suck#notgood#failure#weak#suck#suck#suck”

Instead, I choose to hear: “#canbebetter#wanttobebetter#icandothis#bringiton#makemecry”

Yes, I used hashtags in my writing. Sue me.

So the next time someone tells you maybe you need a little help… brush the dirt off your shoulder (I may be listening to too much Jay Z while running) and look in the mirror.

Who’s your competition? YOU ARE.

Who makes you better? YOU DO.

Need a little help? TAKE IT

Go make stuff happen.

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

~

 The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Florence and the Machine

Bruises

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I’m a bruiser. It doesn’t take much to leave a nice smattering of deep purple and green on my body. I think I have about eight right now. They’re slowly fading, but I know I acquired some new ones on my hike this past weekend.

Sometimes bruises can be hidden, but more often than not they’re going to be loud and proud. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to go away… they’re a constant reminder of pain. A reminder of struggle. They’re ugly. They’re flawed. They make a feel a little less beautiful or handsome.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about this “year of transition” we are both experiencing. Growing and becoming a better person is non-stop. The days I start to feel a little “comfortable” with where I am is when I actually feel the worst. I start thinking about the past, I get frustrated, I feel defeated, I feel like I’m not doing enough, I become restless, my anxiety goes into high drive… on and on and on. Since I am all about honesty with the topics I choose to share with my readers, it’s no lie when I say those days are really hard. I can easily become consumed with having an enormous and successful pity party for one.

Those days are the ones where I have to remember to shift. I have to regroup. I have to be willing to be bruised. Over and over again. To make myself tougher. To not settle for being mediocre. To never become complacent. The only person we’re in competition with is ourselves and if you are lying around doing the same thing day in and day out you are not going to change. God is not going to swoop down and shine some shining light on you and *voila* you are a different person. God gave us free will. No one is going to do it for you. Remember: if you’re not happy with yourself no one else will be either.

Change is slow. Good change, anyway. We’re all familiar with quick changes. They’re often short, aren’t they? They’re easy and fleeting. Good changes are the difficult ones. The ones that take months or years to culminate into something tangible. And, some are never finished. The internal growth of ourselves has to be constant because as I said above – as soon as you are in a good place… you’re going to find yourself falling. The moment you think everything is “great” is the moment the rug gets pulled out from under you.

My newfound love of hiking is probably the cause of most of my most recent bruises but it has shown me things about myself I never thought possible. Everyone has different reasons for being out in nature be it love of beauty, exercise or adventure.

I enjoy hiking for all of those reasons but being me I had to look for that deeper meaning to really correlate with my life. It’s a lot of patience with a little pain. I’ve always struggled with being impatient. I want to fix a situation now. I want my prayer answered now. You know what the problem with that is a lot of the times? I. It is a constant journey of surrender and learning. I can’t fix everything. I can’t make all the wrongs right. I can’t control most of the situations that I want to, but I can control myself and my own progress.

Hiking has taught me to be patient. I can’t rush my way to the top or bottom. I can’t skimp to get there faster. I have to take it step by step. I have to look for the grooves in the rock to grasp with my hands and the places to stick my feet to pull me up. If I’m not patient I could slip and hurt myself or worse. It has taught me I have to slow down. I have to survey my progress and make the next intentional step. I have to remember I am making the progress as long as I keep going. I am becoming stronger.

One of my friends asked me yesterday, “What keeps you motivated?” That’s such a loaded question. A lot of things keep me motivated. But, the one thing I have to say is the constant is what I said above – the only person I’m in competition with is myself. I do it for the satisfaction I get when I look in the mirror. I do it for remembering where I was just four weeks ago and where I am now. I do it knowing at 30 years old I’m on my way to the best shape I’ve ever been in. I know where I’m going. And, it’s not just the physical. The physical is easy compared to the internal workouts I’ve been doing. They’re the workouts that go on 24/7. They’re the ones that really hurt. They’re the ones that matter because those are the ones that affect everyone else around me. I’m motivated to be my very best.

One of my favorite songs to listen to when I workout is Justin Timberlake’s “TKO”…

Baby, everyday in training to get the gold That’s why your body’s crazy But you can’t run from yourself, that’s where it’s difficult

Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. The training never stops. Stop running from your weaknesses. Face them head on and knock them out.

Bruises remind you that you’re moving. They remind you that you are human and vulnerable but you are not breakable.

Pour

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In a recent yoga session, our instructor read this beautiful quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

If you read, “Rooting”, you know it was about renewal branching out, revisiting your roots. It was about growth and about being a better you. If you are going through a period of transition or you are trying to do some internal adjusting you have to remember that the rain is going to come. But, don’t let it drown you.

When you are on the right path you hope it’s always going to be this amazing. Every day seems bright and blue. You have gotten really good at reminding yourself of your purpose. Whatever you have been doing has been working. You are seeing results – whether they are physical, emotional, or mental.

I see this a lot from people I know that are hard core into fitness. The good ones are honest about the plateaus and the frustration of the days that aren’t so good or the days that seem like total failures. And, when you are doing anything that is supposed to be bettering you these days are inevitable. And, they can be crushing. But, what do these people do? They keep going. And, they see the results.

You’ll be having a great day. You’ll seemingly be on a high. Things are going awesome. And, then… the bottom falls out. Maybe you know what triggered it. Maybe you don’t. You just feel the caving in coming and the next thing you know you are crying in yoga class while struggling to do the humble warrior pose.

There will be nights you’re alone and trying to get your legs through the right holes in your underwear will be a struggle. You’ll crash into the wall because you’re simultaneously trying to dress yourself and turn on the front porch light.

You’ll be tempted to go to bed at 8pm watching Teen Witch on Netflix.

You’ll be tempted to order Chinese food in all of its MSG glory and eat a side of pizza with extra cheese. And, hey, who doesn’t love a container of frosting for dessert?

You’ll be tempted to go back to some place that is comfortable but you know is detrimental to your journey. It could be an actual place, it could be a person, or it could be a bad habit you’ve broken. But, it’s comfortable.

Growth is not comfortable. Ask any kid going through puberty. Being better at anything is rarely easy and comfortable.

This month in yoga we are doing heart opening positions and flows and working our way up to the wheel pose. Of course there are some people in the class who have no problem doing the wheel – I am not one of them. I may be pretty flexible and have some good lower body strength, but my upper body strength is peanuts. It’s a work in progress.

For those of us trying to accomplish a successful wheel by the end of the month use foam blocks to help get us to where we need to be. I have managed to get up off the ground, but haven’t been successful in getting my head up off the ground, too. Growth. My arms shake and hurt and I get frustrated, but I don’t give up.

Don’t Give Up.

Keep going. Let the rain come. Look up to the sky and let it pour. Let the rain remind you that you are in a continual stage of growth. There will be days of rain. But, there will be many more days of sunshine. Don’t peddle back now – you have come so far.

That extra cheesy, stuffed crust pizza may feel really good when you’re eating it, but chances are you’re either going to feel guilty about it later or you’re going to be sick. Don’t even get me started on the frosting.

Hanging out with that friend who believes making you feel better equals taking you out to a bar and getting drunk is not looking at your long term growth and success.

Remember the reason you have quit a bad habit. Remember how you felt when you did it and remember why you stopped doing it. Don’t let one bad day ruin your progress.

Go for that run. Go to the gym. Text that friend who will give you a scripture verse or an encouraging word. Heck, watch some Netflix. Call an old friend and catch up. Often times, talking to someone else and hearing about their triumphs and struggles allows us to be the encourager and reminds us that we truly all are in this together.

Our struggles are different but we all need encouragement and support.

Rooting

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Spring is officially here!

Ya’ll – life is good! We are so lucky to be given a new day each morning to make it awesome! I can’t wait to share some of the exciting things that have been going on recently.

Sometimes we have to do a little spring cleaning inside of ourselves. We clean the house, we clean the car, we prep for summer… often times we leave our self neglected. We become stale and stagnant and maybe even unpleasant to be around. Sometimes you have to root yourself in what you know, who you are, and stretch your branches.

Below are some ways I decided to spring clean myself and maybe they’ll be helpful to you, too.

Take a Break: I cut all ties with my social media accounts (even taking a break from M&W, publicly at least – I won’t tell you how many drafts I have sitting around on WordPress), which was a lot easier than I thought. I even considered not coming back at all. It’s been like throwing open a window and breathing this huge breath of air. I have felt more grounded and more like I am living my life than showing it or letting someone else’s “perfect snippets” of their life makes me feel about mine. I will definitely be doing social media a little different this time around.

If you’re bored and/or interested in reading more about how SM affects us I highly encourage two reads: Social Media Makes You Unhappy. Here’s What You Can Do About It. & 7 Things You Learn About (Real) Connection From Being Off the Grid for a Week.

Birds of a Feather: I’ve had the opportunity to really spend time with people that I’m close to and also spend some time with friends who have moved away. Our friends are the family we get to choose. One of my best friends, E, who has really blessed my life in more ways than I could ever explain is moving back out West at the beginning of May. These past few weeks have really given me an opportunity to spend quality time with her and even give in to some of her (good) peer pressure like donating blood for the first time (that story coming soon!)

My friend, Coco, who I call my “true blue” friend just bought her first home with her future husband and I was lucky enough to get to help them move in. It’s such an exciting time in life for so many people in my life… so happy for them!

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Full car & off to the new place!

 

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New Memories. Old Friends.

Get Up & Get Out: My body and I are starting to be really good friends again. We are talking 5:30am booty calls (it’s a workout term – get your mind out of the gutter), running in the evenings, biking, strength training, hiking (!! Anyone reading this who knows me knows this is major – can’t wait to share!), yoga for days… you get the picture. Over the past several weeks, I can count the days I “took off” on one hand. I took way too much time away from my body and my mental health by quitting the very things that help keep my whole being aligned. Not only are the physical benefits that I’m reaping pretty awesome, the way I feel after a hard run or a yoga session or a 2 hour solo bike ride is priceless. I won’t ever give that up again. Know what makes you a better you and don’t stop.

I know my go-tos to not only get my body in shape but to keep me mentally healthy, but this Spring is bringing some new activities. Of course I’ve mentioned hiking, but I also tried out a dance class with a friend recently.

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This was so much fun! It’s a great activities for a group of friends to go to or of course a date, but you switch partners throughout the night so don’t let thinking you have to bring a “date” stop you from going. RCDC meets weekly and it’s specifically for people who enjoy dancing but don’t necessarily want to go to a “club”. I believe the group has a page on Facebook – definitely check them out!

Intentional Living: Recently one night after yoga, I was bouncing out of the gym to my car and I took my sunglasses off and there was this magnificent sunset gracing the sky. A smattering of orange and blue and purple and pink – it wasn’t perfect or the most beautiful, but it was lovely. I rolled all the windows down in the car and took a little drive with the music blaring – it’s moments like that that I feel 100% alive and free. In yoga, we learn to set an intention before the beginning of the class. Maybe it’s to relax or to focus on something we are good at or something we want to accomplish the next day. Yoga is not without purpose. Such is life. Everyday, we can set an intention and strive to fulfill it. Maybe it’s to smile more. To bring some flowers to a friend who is going through a rough patch. Cleaning the car. Raking the leaves in the yard. They don’t have to be big. We put too much pressure on ourselves at times while we should be more intentional with our living instead of cramming as much junk into one day as we can.

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Front porch swinging devotions

 

Detox: I’m not necessarily talking about drinking kale and lemon juice for a few days although I hear that works pretty well. While I did do some body detoxing by cutting sugar, bread and general “crap” out of most of my diet and absolutely nothing but water, detoxing comes in other forms.

Detox the negative feelings that want to feed off of whatever you’re going through. Yes, ladies, I am talking to you – put down that glass of wine you’re drinking in the bathtub while crying over Pinterest quotes as Sam Smith plays in the background. You are on a slippery slope to becoming a seriously unproductive byproduct of society. Just say no. Seriously. Pull yourself together.

It’s good to feel your feelings, as they say, and I do plenty of it but at some point you have to stop catering to your feelings. Life is moving on without you. That’s why it’s imperative you take time for yourself when you need it and you rest in your situations and then move on. You learn your lesson and you turn yourself outward. Do something for someone else.

Tune out the people who continually want to complain instead of looking at the positive (we all know these people) – sometimes that means either completely cutting off a friendship or relationship or just taking a step back. Change your circumstances. Change yourself. Make yourself better. We can all stay pretty awesome being the same, but the truth is we’re all one day closer to dying and I’m not really satisfied doing the same things when I know I can be better – not just for myself but for those around me.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: They may be small acts, but really think about pushing yourself a little bit this year. Try something new. Don’t be one of those people who says, “I will never…” at the drop of a hat at the mention of an adventure. It took me a long time to get saying, “No” down, but this year I’m going to say “Yes” just a little more. Life is so full… Take advantage of it! I can’t wait to share some of the things I’ve been doing the past few weeks.

Choose to be happy. Choose to live intentionally. Choose to be someone other people want to be around because you’re a light in the midst of something dark they’re going through. Choose to not drag yourself down by comparing yourself to others. Choose to be the best version of yourself you can.

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren

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